Mix the sugar, water, sourdough starter, yeast and flour until dough comes together and is “shaggy”. I like to use a my kitchen aid mixer (Kitty).
Let the dough rest for 30 mins, then add the 60g butter and sugar and mix until fully combined – be patient it takes a while, but it does come together I promise!
Cover with a moist towel and let rise for a couple of hours. Roll out the dough, roll it up (like a sausage) to the length of bread pan, place in bread pan and cover with damp cloth until it has doubled in size. Preheat over to 350deg F and bake for 45mins.
Decant from bread pan immediately and let cool before slicing.
This is a super easy bread to make – it tastes so good and is super soft, I make this once if not twice a week, depending on how hungry my family is.
I haven’t posted in some time, probably 3 years, what the heck?
A lot can happen in three years! Where shall I begin?
In 2024 I moved back to moved back to Ontario after living in Nova Scotia. Let me tell you 2024 was an absolute whirlwind of everything, so much to do, so many emotions, challenges, obstacle and new experiences!
During that time, I helped move my parents to Canada, lost my job, updated and painted our home, and prepared it for sale (with the help of my wonderful dad). I arranged movers, negotiated house sale and purchase, cared for a sick dog, the list goes on and on…..
My anxiety was high during this time, and I needed to find ways to help reduce it. One of the most powerful tools for me was being in nature, especially by a body of water. Luckily, I had a beautiful river at the end of my driveway at the time. When things became overwhelming, I would sit there and sometimes even get in the water. Letting the water take my worries, letting go of what does not serve me, I would also connect with God in prayer, ask for guidance, clarity, and peace.
The Power of Water
We use water every day, it’s essential for our survival, but sometimes we can forget the healing power water holds. Many cultures use water for cleansing and spiritual awakening, to signify new beginnings. Water is a transformative force that we can use to nurture ourselves and allow its healing properties to cover all aspects of our wellbeing, to help us relax, restore, and rejuvenate.
Pastel chalks are a new art medium for me and I think I am in love!
I love how the picture comes alive with every stroke of the chalk pencil, this is a picture of my daughters cat, its my first attempt and rough around the edges, it only took me about an hour, I was limited on time but eager to try my new chalk pencils out!
It will need to take some time and find some patience to perfect my technique. For me however, I choose to create for relaxation and if I put an expectation of perfection on myself then it loses all its joy. I have been using art for many years to help calm myself and keep me grounded. It’s a way for me to escape. Over the years I have created some dark and interesting pictures, that have depth and meaning to me, it has helped me through some difficult times and it never judges, its just there and lets me be and feel outside of myself.
However, I do strive to improve my techniques, especially since I would love to create fur baby portraits for family and friends in the not so distant future, but for now I will enjoy the experience as I learn, grow and have fun with this new to me art medium!
Thanks for stopping by, may you be blessed this day and every day and remember it costs nothing to be kind.
Ingredients 20g white sugar 250g warm water 7g yeast 100g active sourdough starter 500g bread flour 60g butter 10g salt Mix the sugar, water, sourdough starter, yeast and flour until dough comes together and is “shaggy”. I like to use a my kitchen aid mixer (Kitty). Let the dough rest for 30 mins, then add…
I haven’t posted in some time, probably 3 years, what the heck? A lot can happen in three years! Where shall I begin? In 2024 I moved back to moved back to Ontario after living in Nova Scotia. Let me tell you 2024 was an absolute whirlwind of everything, so much to do, so many…
My first attempt at working with this medium. Pastel chalks are a new art medium for me and I think I am in love! I love how the picture comes alive with every stroke of the chalk pencil, this is a picture of my daughters cat, its my first attempt and rough around the edges,…
I have been AWOL for a while, I needed to take some time for me and that’s a good thing. Sometimes we have to take a step back and time out and I won’t ever apologise for putting my own needs first not in real life or blog life.
However, I am back and although I haven’t been blogging, I have been busy. I have been keeping up with my self care, taking time to create, loving and caring for the spaces I find myself in and the people I share them with.
My beautiful brother passed almost two years ago and as a result I decided to take a step back, to focus, regroup and just be. Over the past three years we have had so many challenges, and when I say we I mean “we” as humans, my fellow oxygen breathers. I have met and spoken with so many beautiful souls that have faced or dealt with so much. Remember to always be kind to yourself and others, because we never know what another person is going through, and it costs nothing to be kind.
What new tools have I added to my self care kit?
Breath work
Meditation
Mindfullness
Pastel Chalk art
Forgiveness of self and others – not new but necessary
I am excited to share and create again, I hope to connect with some of you as we embrace this journey called life.
In the meantime, here’s wishing you a happy spring.
Growing up I had mixed feelings about Sunday’s. Marking the beginning of the week and the end of the weekend, meant that school was looming. Most Sundays we would have a roast dinner of some sort, chicken, beef or lamb. My nan would often have us over and we would all gather around the table to connect and eat. More often than not it would be roast chicken. Special days would call for beef and lamb at easter. I have always loved a good roast dinner with roasted potatoes on a Sunday after a walk on the beach or park with the dogs, or we would sometimes pop to the local pub for a carvery. There’s something nostalgic for me when it comes to preparing and eating a roast dinner now. It evokes childhood memories, that bring me much comfort. It also reminds me of my brother, who could make a mean Roast Dinner.
I could not really write about a Sunday roast without mentioning the all-time star though.
The YORKSHIRE PUDDING! Who doesn’t love them? (Well, maybe some of you don’t, I won’t be offended if you scroll by).
I do, I love, love, love them and so does my family.
When I first attempted to make them, myself it was an epic fail, they turned out like weird cakey things and it took me a while to get it right. The secret is in letting the batter rest and making sure the oil is HOT, HOT, HOT!
I have added links to two of my favourite recipes that I like to follow, by two of my favourite chefs.
Yorkshire puddings don’t always have to be with a roast dinner though, I like them with sausages, onion gravy and mash, add them to other meals and you can make ahead and freeze them too.
I spent the first 14 years of my life in Lancashire England, I have fond memories of growing up there and my memories often involve food and family gatherings. My nan making us dinners and sometimes cooking up some nasty smelling stuff too, (which I later learned was offal- yuck). Going to the local “Flat Iron”, market, and all the different smells, the fish mongers, the butchers, bakers, cheese stalls. I loved the cake stall with the yummy Chelsea buns and vanilla slices, oh and of course I cannot forget then flat steak or meat and potato pies. Later we moved to the south west of England, were we swapped pies for pasties and cakes for cream teas. But that’s another story for another time.
What’s your favourite meal of the week? Do you have any childhood memories which when you eat a certain food take you back?
Now excuse me whilst I go fill my face, all that writing about food has made me hungry!
I haven’t forgotten that I said I was doing a self-care series, I just got busy taking care of me.
So here is my third post in my self-care series and I thought I would focus on physical self- care. If you remember in my first post there was an image of a self-care wheel and in the physical section it lists various things that are considered physical self-care, such as having a safe place to live, eating well, exercising etc.
Personally, I find physical self-care challenging at times. I find it easier to care for others than I do to care for myself. But over the years I have come to realize that I am actually the most important person to me. Sounds kind of conceited but its true. I have to think of myself first in order to help others. When it comes it physical self-care it means taking time out, being along with your thoughts (ugh, that’s not always easy either, who wants to listen to themselves whining, because let’s admit it, we like to put ourselves down more than build ourselves up), which will help with our psychological and emotional wellness too.
What things do I do for physical self-care?
Well, it changes and evolves much like the seasons. I like to walk my dog, swim in the river, eat yummy healthy food, take long relaxing baths, lie in the sun and feel the breeze on my face, stretch and do yoga, get a massage, ask for hugs from my loved ones, (I have asked strangers too before, but people give me funny looks, can’t understand why), the list goes on.
Over the years I have tried different practices or tools as like to refer to them. I used to love to go to spin class, or kick boxing. I used to go to the gym every other day, swim, and have massages. I did this a lot when I had young children and I needed that “me” time. As I got older and the needs of my children evolved, I had to adjust, my spin class turned in to bicycle rides with my kids in a trailer and them eventually following me on their own bikes. Growing my own vegetable garden with the kids and watching it produce wonderful healthy food. Walking to ball practice and going for a swim in the lake after. Sitting in the hot tub staring at the sky lit with the moon and the stars, at the end of the day when they were all fast asleep tucked in bed. Oh, how I miss my hot tub! I have tried, kayaking (which I love, must be the water theme), hiking, dancing alone in my living room or with friends, having a big old belly laugh at myself and others, going to a theme park and riding the coasters, water parks with lazy rivers and splash pads, jumping off the end of a dock in the moon light, rolling around in the snow, skiing, sledding, building a snowman, raking the leaves…. As I write this, I am feeling motivated to try some of these again, some things I wasn’t a fan of, like down-hill skiing, nope not for me at all, but that’s the beauty of it, we are all different and we can pick and choose and need not be limited because of finances or disabilities, yes, they are barriers and can make things harder or impossible. I myself faced some of those obstacles, when I was diagnosed with idiopathic Epilepsy in 2009, it had a huge impact on my life, I had to be careful, swimming was something that I could no longer do alone, I could not drive and had little supports, with three small kids in a relatively new country. It was a challenge I had to adjust my expectations and accept a new reality; things weren’t always easy and I would be lying if I said they were, but thankfully still here to tell the tale.
Water and swimming have been a major theme in my self-care journey. Taking a bath or a hot shower and feeling the water on your skin. Swimming in the river and letting the cool water wash over you and at the same time asking it to take away all your worries. I love to let my body just float on the water and look up at the vast sky. When I visit the ocean, I love to lie on the beach at night time (and daytime) and listen to the waves, sometimes I will take a swim, there is nothing better to me than the sweet sounds of the waves crashing down, the smell of the salty air and the view of the universe, it makes me feel small and helps me put things in to perspective. I remember once doing this very thing in 2011, I took a trip to the ocean. I slept lots, ate healthy foods, read, swam and listened to music. It was the best ever self-care trip I took. Three days of me and the universe (my higher power) – bliss! A year later my world totally fell apart, but using some of these tools has helped me greatly.
Physical self-care influences all of the other parts of the self-care wheel, it’s intertwined, when we take care of ourselves physically, the impact on us emotionally and psychologically can be huge.
I challenge you to think about your physical self-care, what do you do to keep yourself well physically? What barriers have you faced and how did you overcome them? Do you still find it difficult, and if so why?
“ It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank, half pack of cigarettes, it’s dark out, and we’re wearing sunglasses. Hit it.”
As I mentioned in my last post, I have been away for a little while (well, from posting here at least). Life happened and I just couldn’t put my thoughts in to words. It’s like that, sometimes life gets in the way of my writing and when I do want to write I just can’t seem to find the energy to write anything. You see grief has taken over and it’s been so very hard.
Back in May I got married to my very best friend. It was the most amazing day, just us, two witnesses, and the Pastor in our back garden. It was simply perfect; I even wore my pink wellies too- hahaha! A week later my world changed forever. I woke up to the news that my younger and only brother had passed away. I am totally devastated and I struggle with the fact that I am never going to see or speak to him again.
Why am I writing about this? Because I can, because I want to, its healing for me and it’s also part of my self-care. Talking about our grief is important, we should not hide in times of sadness and grief, but we should be allowed to grieve in whatever way we feel we need to.
My brother was a huge character and a very important part of my life. He had many challenges, but he was a good, loving and caring human that lived life to the full. He was often misunderstood, but always loved by his family and great friends. I will never forget the last conversation I had with him, he was telling me how much he loved me and how he had so many things planned and was looking forward to life. I can still hear his voice now.
You can imagine the huge void he has left. Losing a sibling is not something I ever imagined. Life has not been the same since that day. The world for me is forever a different place.
Grief is a journey that we find ourselves on unexpectedly. I have lost and grieved many things in my life, but this has been the most difficult. I am still processing my grief and each day I learn something new about the journey and myself. As a CRISIS responder for many years, I have had to meet people in their darkest times. I never had the words for them, nor did I try to find words, because there are no words….
No words can ever change what you felt when you heard the news, nothing anyone can say can make it easier. But…. you know what helps? Just being there, saying nothing, just being THERE.
Forever Young….
It’s been three months since I heard the news, my heart is forever broken. During this time, I attempted to paint a picture of my brother, it’s not a perfect resemblance but it helped my moments of deep grief, it helped me focus and keep going. When you are grieving don’t ever apologise, you be you, feel what you need to feel, just ride the tide and know that you are not alone.
Thank you to everyone that has loved and supported our family.
It’s been a while since I last posted. A lot has been going on, some things good and some things devastatingly bad. I will write about that another time, but today I wanted to write about something that happened to me yesterday.
I was on my way to get our weekly groceries, listening to music, whilst enjoying the beautiful drive. A song came on that I used to listen to a lot back in 2012 when my whole world crumbled before me. The song was by Hedley and as I listened to the lyrics something very prolific resonated with me.
Long steady road, oh travel be kind. I’m searching for some peace of mind. The home that you know, a home left behind. Oh trouble don’t trouble this time.
And baby don’t look back, odds don’t stack, they just crumble down, around you. You gotta go away if you wanna come back. I won’t crack, I can’t make a sound without you.
And even if it sounds crazy darling, I won’t let you go. And even if it don’t stop raining darling, I won’t let you go. And even if the world is burning darling, I won’t let you go. And even if it sounds crazy darling, I won’t let you go.
Know your way down, your music, your town, You’re never walking alone. A storm that won’t wait, a heart that won’t break. Your mountains ain’t made out of stone
I was back there, again in 2012, remembering the hurt and heartbreak, I was homeless with three children, couch surfing and wondering how I could come back after such a huge fall. Back then, I was very deep in to my faith and relationship with Christ. He had been my anchor for all my life and I was confused as to why he had “allowed” this. I knew he had a plan for me, but I wasn’t a big fan of this one! Over the next few years, I started to rebuild my life, some people stayed with me and others did not, they made their choices and I made mine. I felt like I was abandoned by God sometimes, his “people’ hurt me and I was angry at him. I still had Faith it was just not as stead fast as it used to be.
Over the past nine years I have transformed, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I found myself in a role with my work that was helping people who had faced the same predicaments in life that I had. I became an advocate, supporter, listener, cheer leader and much more for some very beautiful and broken souls. I started to see why I had to go through what I did, because if I did not then I could not have been authentic in my work.
So, as I drove to get my groceries, tears flowed (not too much because I needed to see the road and the road was a bit sketchy in places, but that’s a whole other story). I listened to the lyrics like never before, at first, I thought of it as me singing and saying to my children that I would not let them go, and while that is very true, I never let them go, it became clear that this was not about that, it was something much greater than that. It was my heavenly father reminding me that he was there all, along speaking to me, telling me that he wouldn’t let me go, that it’s a long steady road, to a new place, that I was never walking alone.
Whilst my Faith has waxed and waned, my higher power has always been there, and that made my heart full. I am not religious, but believe in something greater than what we can see, something that is all loving and lets us live our life, that allows us to make mistakes and bad choices because it’s how we learn, it’s not easy but it could be if we had more faith and trust in something that we don’t always understand or believe, but that in its self cannot be how we move forward, we have intuition and a gut to listen to when things aren’t right. I often feel like that is so dumbed down, that we sometimes miss or dismiss those warnings, choosing to listen to something we are told rather than what our spirit is telling us.
Whilst this post is very different from my previous posts about, food, self-care, art, photography, etc. I felt it was still relevant because to me it’s about self-reflection, self-realisation, that gives me hope and for me that right there is true self-care.
For me I think of psychological self-care as learning to love and accept the self, whilst nurturing one’s soul.
As I look at the self-care wheel from my previous self-care post I see many things listed in the psychological section, such as self-reflection, therapy, self-awareness and sensory engagement. When I first started investing in my own self-care practice, I would read these words and instantly feel overwhelmed. I would think and tell myself things like, “therapy? I can’t afford therapy and really I don’t need a therapist”, or, “self-reflection, mmm like I wanna go there?”, and “sensory engagement, what is that, and why would I want to engage my already highly over sensitized brain?” What I was really doing here though was over thinking and overcomplicating a very simple and wonderfully life enriching process, I was also telling myself that I was too broken and did not deserve to take the time to invest in this practice.
Over the many years of being a Peer Support Worker, I have heard similar responses to self-care, for some reason I feel that we like to resist caring for our-selves especially if it is going to address things in such a way that it makes us feel connected to who we really are. If we have been hurt or abused, sometimes the last thing we really want to do is “feel”, after all we have most likely worked very hard to switch those feelings off, so to many, psychological self-care is a step too far into feeling and discovering who we really are, especially if we have been told that who or what we really are is somehow not worthy.
So today I decided hit my second post in my self-care series with what I felt was one the hardest parts of self-care, not everyone feels this way, but I have met many that have struggled with this one more often than not!
So, what does it all really mean and how is it going to help me?
Well, really my answer to this is, it’s only really going help you if YOU WANT it to and it can mean the difference between being stuck and being free, but it takes PRACTICE and much self-forgiveness!
Let me start with one of the items I listed from the self-care wheel above. Therapy!
We often think as therapy as going to see a psychologist, and that’s not wrong at all, in fact it can be invaluable to many if they are working through healing, trauma or other challenges that life brings us, however, therapy is so much more than that.
The Cambridge Dictionary defines Therapy as: “a treatment that helps someone feel better, grow stronger, etc.” It also defines Therapeutic as: “having a healing affect, tending to make someone feel healthier.”
When I look at these definitions I think about the things that have a therapeutic affect on me, such as being in nature, walking, singing, listening to music, taking naps, positive self-talk and affirmations, the list can be endless. I am not a qualified therapist or a psychologist but I am my own personal coach and motivator, and life can throw so many challenges and hurt our way, sometimes we need a qualified therapist to help us get to the point where we can start to love and appreciate ourselves, but we need to continue that work by being our own therapists, by reminding ourselves that we are worthy and that we are enough.
Is it easy? No, not always, but, believe, me when I say that it is SO worth it!
In my next post I will continue to explore “What is psychological self-care?” from a lived experience perspective.
It’s always important to remember to reach out to professionals if you are not feeling well, physically, emotionally and or mentally, my posts will hopefully provide inspiration and insight from the perspective of lived experience and by no means replace the expertise of psychologists and doctors.
Developing a self-care practice takes time and the key part of it for me is to always be kind to yourself.
Recently I made Turkey Chilli as a special request from my daughter. I made a big pot so she can take it to school for her lunches! I also made some rustic bread to go with it! It took very little time and was even better the next day!
I used my own recipe for the chilli
My recipes are very much make it and see, I often change things up and I encourage you to make adaptations that make it personal to you!
Two packages of ground turkey (antibiotic free) seasoned with cumin and cayenne pepper.
One red pepper and one yellow pepper deseeded and chopped.
One shallot or small onion chopped
Two celery sticks chopped
Three garlic cloves chopped
A large (or two small) jalapeño pepper deseeded and chopped.
Mushrooms
Dried chilli flakes – to taste
Teaspoon of cocoa powder
Teaspoon of sugar or honey (I often use marmalade)
Can of good quality tomatoes, I used diced but if poss use whole and chop,
Tomato paste two tablespoons
One cup chicken stock or veg stock if you prefer- homemade or shop bought.
Two tablespoons of fresh cilantro
Can of mixed beans (optional) rinsed and drained
Salt and pepper
Grated cheese and sour cream (optional)
In a large skillet, or dutch over, sauté celery, garlic, peppers (not the jalapeño), onion and add dried chilli flakes. Remove from heat and pan and add seasoned turkey with and jalapeños and brown. Add the sauteed celery mix back to the browned turkey along with can of tomatoes, tomatoes puree, stock, cilantro, cocoa powder, salt pepper and honey. Simmer for 20 mins, put in slow cooker on low until you are ready to serve (add cornflour for a thicker sauce if desired).
Add drained beans before serving and top with grated cheese and sour cream.
I made the bread dough earlier in week and refrigerated. Link to recipe for bread.
If you make this and enjoy it please share your pictures to instagram or Facebook with the hashtag #collescapes
Collescapes 